In the Arms of an Angel

pretending

Face to face and heart to heart

We’re so close yet so far apart

I close my eyes I look away

That’s just because I’m not okay

But I hold on, I stay strong

Wondering if we still belong

Will we ever say the words we’re feeling

Reach out underneath and tear down all the walls

Will we ever have our happy ending?

Or will we forever only be pretending?

Will we always, always, always be pretending

How long do I fantasize

Make believe that it’s still alive

Imagine that I am good enough

And we can choose the ones we love

But I hold on, I stay strong

Wondering if we still belong,

Keeping secrets safe

Every move we make

Seems like no ones letting go

And it’s such a shame

Cause if you feel the same

How am I supposed to know?

*Glee2 “Nationals”

23

It was the first time that I received such number of greeting cards and a bouquet of flowers on my birthday…

I was so overwhelmed and grateful with that gesture of my students. They were so thoughtful. I felt that I am an important and that I am loved. 

I was so touched with this certain card given by third year students. It was from the whole class. It has a concept and I can say that it was really deeply thought of. “Feel our passions… Remain youthful.”

First, it reminded of one of my almost-forgotten childhood dreams which I shared to them: to be a FASHION DESIGNER. Since I was a grader, it was my hobby to draw dresses and gowns at the back pages of my notebooks. My mother usually nagged upon seeing those sketches because for her, it was just a waste of time and resources (paper and pen). I was also fond of making clothes for my Barbie dolls using some old clothes. I can still remember my mother’s disappointment upon seeing her tube blouse (which she had since high school) torn. I still managed to show her the remnants of that blouse and the gown I made for my doll. HAHA.  I am still making my designs but not at the back pages of my notebook but in a sketchpad already hoping that one day, I would own and manage a BOUTIQUE and it will be called KEIRENGKENG. 

At ilan sa mga nakakatawang messages:

“Salamat din po sa mga di ko makakalimutang EXAMS na talagang nakapagpaisip at nakapagpakunot ng aming mga noo.”

“Sana po magkaroon kayo ng magandang lovelife…”

“Masarap po kayong kasama kasi madaldal po kayo…”

“Wish ko po sa inyo mahanap ninyo ang tunay na pagmamahal…”

so there… i enjoyed celebrating my 23rd birthday with my students…

silence…

“In order to hear God’s voice, you must turn down the world’s volume…”

Silence has become one of my fears. I am not used of having no one to talk to and not hearing other people’s voices. Whenever I feel that the day would be so quiet, I usually make myself busy doing stuffs. Surfing the internet, texting, listening to different music genres, reading or watching TV shows or movies are the things that I would do. After being tired from these activities, I am not able to think of the day that just passed by because all I wanted is to sleep. I usually escape from reflecting on the things that just happened. There are times that I consider myself as Scarlett O’hara because of her line, “I won’t think of it today. Tomorrow is another day.” I do not listen to what my heart truly desires. I do not want to listen to what He is whispering to me because what I usually think is that things won’t go my way.

Now, there is this realization that I should not be afraid of silence. For in silence, God speaks. The things He would tell me might not be what I am planning but hope arises that His plans are greater than mine. What He asks me now is to trust Him. Answering His call would not be easy because it entails sharing the weight of the cross with Him and turning back from many things. This would mean sacrifices and trials but I know that I can pass through all of these with Him by my side.

“Follow the voice that calls within…”

LOVE IS…

“Love is … Being happy for the other person when they are happy, Being sad for the person when they are sad, Being together in good times, And being together in bad times. LOVE IS THE SOURCE OF STRENGTH. 

Love is … Being honest with yourself at all times, Being honest with the other person at all times, Telling, listening, respecting the truth, And never pretending. LOVE IS THE SOURCE OF REALITY. 

Love is … An understanding so complete that you feel as if you are a part of the other person, Accepting the other person just the way they are, And not trying to change them to be something else. LOVE IS THE SOURCE OF UNITY. 

Love is … The freedom to pursue your own desires while sharing your experiences with the other person, The growth of one individual alongside of and together with the growth of another individual. LOVE IS THE SOURCE OF SUCCESS. 

Love is … The excitement of planning things together, The excitement of doing things together. LOVE IS THE SOURCE OF THE FUTURE. Love is … The fury of the storm, The calm in the rainbow. LOVE IS THE SOURCE OF PASSION. 

Love is … Giving and taking in a daily situation, Being patient with each other’s needs and desires. LOVE IS THE SOURCE OF SHARING. 

Love is … Knowing that the other person will always be with you regardless of what happens, Missing the other person when they are away but remaining near in heart at all times. LOVE IS THE SOURCE OF SECURITY. LOVE IS … THE SOURCE OF LIFE!”

— Susan Polis Schutz